Pre-marital sex, should or not?

Today, when Vietnam is in the integration period, we are sure that there are both good and bad. Vietnam basic has gained much from the world‘s culture to develop economic and society. However, we can not prevent the bad aspects that perhaps young people are most influenced by too many differences in manners and customs. Because of the lack of knowledge and the speed of integration, young people can not adjust themselves into the change. This can be seen that there is a problem which becomes so popular in Vietnam after integration. With the title above, certainly, you know what I am going to discuss about ^^. It is the problem of having sexual relations when student still “sit” on the lecture hall.

As we know, it is a phenomenon which appears mostly in young people, especially in student. It can be called by another name: a “quiet” sexual relation.

In fact, it is not hard to catch a case that two students live together in one room. The girl seems to be an “illegal wife” of the boy. After the time at school, she comes back home to prepare the lunch or the dinner, to do housework, so on. The boy just returns his “lovely home” to enjoy everything without doing anything. Furthermore, the story about “experiment- life” is not only sharing a meal or caring health one another but also having sexual relation which just mostly happens in the honeymoon of a husband and wife before in Orient.

When some sex education’s organizations do the survey to investigate this problem among students. They ask a question that what is the reason why some students chose “experiment- life” when they are still young. Most of the answer is that this lifestyle helps them to save money. They can have a person to share the happiness and the pain. However what is the right answer?

I’m sure that each person will have her own answer but we can collect these different ways of thinking to look at some examples:

N- A student of Hue University of science decided to live with her boyfriend had to leave home after a year when the life is not effectively test as expected. Whereas, T- a student of teacher’s college are excited because his life with love is so passionate. (Source Dan Tri)

From these examples: perhaps some one will be positive and some one will be negative. But they are not all.

A couple of students at social science and humanity’s university keep secret to rent a room in a guest house. They based on a very simple philosophy: “we should do everything we want to not regret in the future even we do not receive the consent from our parent”. In the first time, they lived so happy but they were not subsidized the money from their parent any more. After just 2 week for the test life, they decided to come back home and desire to have some investment to do business. Besides, they are not like before, the boy becomes older with thin body and black skin in position of a motorbike taxi driver and the girl is also not beautiful any more when she used to quarrel with her “husband” and neighbors. (Source Dan Tri)

These scenes   like this have become so familiar in guest- house for student in Vietnam.

It is obvious from these examples that student will face a lot of difficulties when they have sex before marriage too early. May be, the love at that time is just a way to satisfy their desire to feel the happiness of marriage or their craving of sex in some cases. All we know that love is something can’t be defined exactly. When we fall in love, some one can not control themselves any more. Then, they start a life of gross self-indulgence without thinking about the consequences in the future. Beside the difficulty about life expenses, what is the next effect of test life to young people?

The director of center for reproductive health care said: “70% of customers who go to the center of reproductive health care for adolescents are students. Most of them are girls who come for abortion”. This truly is a sad state of Vietnam’s society.

Young people  are waiting to abort- a way to kill a child.

I have a chance to read statistics from a book which shows that People divorce from the group “has test life before marriage” higher than at least twice more than the couple “not live” before marriage.

To understand more about this problem in Vietnam, this video will show you more clearly.

Therefore, we can see that it really has many disadvantages of life test in student. Because of the lack of knowledge, most students don’t understand about reproductive health and sex. Experience on living together can cause abortion (complication can lead to infertility), or some disease such as Syphilis and Cancroids when they have an unsafe sex. In addition, it will lead to the physical and metal injuries that the girl will be the first to suffer. Moreover, in society with bold oriental tradition such as Vietnam, having sexual relation before marriage or life test is not approved. It still has a lot of critical comments in additionally.

However, these are not all the mistake of the young while the society not cares much about them. Vietnamese are still shy when talking about the problems which involve gender and sexual relations. Student can not behave in the right way when they don’t have enough chance to approach the fact though studying or listening. We should teach young people about reproductive health more to show them what is the best choice for their future.

P/S: Do you agree or disagree with pre-marital sex? I’m sure that you have the answer now. I respect all your idea about this problem. Anyhow, I absolutely do not hold with this lifestyle, I treasure the dignity of a girl, specially the virginity before marriage. Thank you so much for reading my entry. I know that it is still limited about information and point of view. If any body has further suggestions, you can tell sincerely and don’t worry about me. Thank you so much.

Trần Phan Phương Linh



11 responses to “Pre-marital sex, should or not?

  1. ^O^cafe_no.79^O^

    Wow, this is the hot topic for us nowadays ^O^! Ur writing is quite interesting, i appreciate that ^^! Idk how in foreign countries, they do not consider this problem as a serious one :-?.in my opinion, where ever we live, we’re supposed to do the best things for our lives, & this way is not the best, it sometimes confuses me :P! Anyway, if u have no idea what i’m trying to say here, plz, accept it :P!!! Thx for ur sharing :D!

  2. thanks for this entry! The video does look scary! All teen (6 grader and up) should see it!

  3. Trần Phan Phương Linh

    @cafe: thank you for your cmt. ^^ in foreign countries, it is really not a serious problem, even so normal. That’s why I couldn’t find the meaning of the word ” sống thử ” exactly :”> yah you have the same idea as me. perhaps, “pre- marital sex” is so popular in western countries but it is not suitable for eastern culture. Young people should analyze the problem in many aspects in order to find the best choice. where ever I live, I will maintain the virginity of a girl before marriage which is a feature of an eastern girl ^^
    @ My nu: thank you for your cmt. I was also afraid at the first time I see it :(( I don’t understand how can the abortion doctors become so calm while they are destroying a foetus :((

  4. Lê Nguyễn Quỳnh Tiên

    In my opinion, when a couple lives a testing life (not sure about this word :-S ), they do not really love each other much (I mean REAL LOVE), they just want to satisfy their own sexual needs, they want to be “sành điệu” (cant find a suitable word >_ easy to have sex => easy to be bored => easy to break up. That is the reason why we see many girls waiting in a abortion room with their mom, not their boyfriends (or we can call their ox :))
    Okay, that’s too much for my own opinion. About your entry, pictures and video are a great idea for this topic. The video is scary!!! And many examples, many real data make the actual situation more seriously. Thank you for your alert about this.

  5. Trương Thùy Linh

    Eeee!!! Those tools for abortion and the view of it are scary!!! I even feel the pain! That’s sooooooooo horrible! >_<
    I think that in foreign country, they do consider this problem, too! The matter is, they have experienced it and already had methods to reduce it. That's the reason why children in foreign countries have been taught about gender and sex since very young. Vietnam will soon catch up with it, I'm sure! We just need some more time.
    About pre-marital sex, as for me, it has nothing to do with dignity or consciousness. As long as you understand what you are doing and why you are doing it, you can do whatever you want. However, it also doesn't mean that you can be self-indulgent. It's just that you should be mature and think very carefully when facing those problems or else, the one who suffer later will be no one else but YOU.

    Next, about the writing, your entry is very convincing! The amount of pictures and the video clip show that you have prepared for it well. You did a good job despite some minor mistakes :D. For example, the sentence: "People divorce from the group “has test life before marriage” higher than at least twice more than the couple “not live” before marriage" for me should be like this: "The number of divorce cases of people from group "…" is at least twice higher than that of the opposite group". I know that it's very hard to express that idea of you (well, I did experience this situation before! :P) so I tried to make it as smooth as I can. That's what I think, so don't get offended, OK? 😀
    Last, thank for your effort to bring up such an interesting entry for us! You did a great job! Just keep on with it, OK? Have a nice day! 🙂

  6. Interesting topic! Hi, I’m just a guest study in Australia and I have just written a similar essay topic. In here, they have another problem : sex-education and abortion. However, this topic is a more serious problem for oversea student. For me, I disagree with pre-martial sex although I live in foreign country but it’s not mean I’m a foreigner. Great assignment but you can use some cartoons about the abortion to not scary the reader but also have a good affect. Have a nice day!

  7. wow, so interesting. However, i think that testlife still has some advantage, haha. Young couple can gain exp from their life before marriage. After a couple of month living together, they can know each other better n then decide whether going on their testlife or breaking up. I think, this is a good way reducing rate of divorce. Conversely, the vnese youth take advantage of testlife to satisfy their demand of sex. That is my opinion.

  8. Trần Phan Phương Linh

    @ Quynh Tien: I also found out that love in this period is affected much by the information from Internet or television. Therefore, students now seem to be bolder than in the past. It leads to the love which is not heartfelt and profound among students ( especially in cohabitation). “easy to have sex => easy to be bored => easy to break up”: it is really logical ^^ Thank you for your cmt 😀
    @ Thuy Linh: hihi thank you to correct my mistake. I hope that VietNam can catch up with these changes in a most suitable way. In additionally, I think that the consciousness is really important to solve a lot of situation in life (eg: pre- marital sex). Anyhow, we must control ourselves of any problem.
    @ Jade Dang: oh welcome to our blog. I am really happy when my topic is interesting with you. Using some cartoons about abortion is really a great idea that I forgot :”>. I will be more experienced for my next topic 😀 Thank you for your opinion 🙂
    @ Green: any problems always have 2 aspects : advantage and disadvantage. I know that cohabitation has some advantages for us to get experiences in some case like you said before. However, I still not approve with this problem, it is really not suitable for Vietnam’s culture 😀 I respect your idea, don’t mind my opinion, perhaps I am outdated 😀
    P.S: I am so sorry for my lateness to reply your ideas. Furthermore, I have found out the exact word for ” song thu”, it is cohabitation 😀

  9. hi, I’m just a guest from economics University. Your essay makes me very interested. We are Vietnamese, so we should keep our culture. And I think that Vietnamese school must teach this problem for the students to prevent some bad consequences. Thanks for sharing this topic ^^

  10. Le Phuoc Trung

    oh, the video is amazing. This topic is so sensitive and controversial today and I absolutely agree with it. However, I think you are so serious about sex before marriage. In my opinion, having sex in the early age is bad but it is normal for those who are mature( even they have yet to marry). You know many couples have problems in the wedding night just due to the lack of sex experience. How would you solve this problem.
    Another point is that virginity of girl , in fact, is a normal physical phenomena. Is it a commonsense or eastern culture to consider it so important? Don’t you?

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